


See yourself through my eyes

by FlowerWishes



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Fantasy, M/M, POV Multiple, POV Robbe IJzermans, POV Sander Driesen, Strangers to Lovers, i still don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:40:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlowerWishes/pseuds/FlowerWishes
Summary: One night changes the lives of Robbe and Sander.They can suddenly hear each other's voices, see the other's sight and feel the other's pain.It's scary but exhilarating.What do they do now?
Relationships: Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Comments: 27
Kudos: 101





	1. The Discovery

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all,
> 
> Welcome to my new fic. The core idea is based on the movie 'In Your Eyes (2014)' but I will deviate from that.  
> I really hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think.  
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Stay safe xx  
> \- D

Sander lay in his bed, the moonlight sneaking through the gaps in his curtains. He was beyond exhausted from his long day at University. He had had two tests that day and his brain was running on very little fuel at the moment. A recharge was needed. His eyes fluttered closed and he waited for sleep to catch him.

Then, loud music, pumping through his veins, assaulting his ears, disturbing his attempt at sleeping. He pulled a pillow over his head in an effort to block out some of the noise but it just got louder. Then came the lights, strobing lights of various colours illuminated his sight.

“What in the hell is going on,” Sander said aloud, annoyance playing on his voice.

“Hello? Who is that?” a voice called.

Sander spun around but there was nobody there, he was alone with blaring music, coloured lights and a random voice in his head.

“Well this can’t be good,” Sander said, very concerned for his current state of mind as he was now hearing voices on top of the music.

The lights ebbed and flowed in and out of his vision.

“What can’t be good? Who is saying that?” the voice uttered.

“Never mind who I am, who are _you_?” Sander said, demanding.

“Why can I see a bed? I’m not on a bed!” the voice said, alarmed.

“I can see club lights, why can I see club lights?” Sander said frantically, “I’m in my bedroom.”

“ _I’m_ in a club.”

“No, you’re not!” Sander said, getting more and more frustrated with the situation, “You’re in my head.”

“Um…no, if anyone is in anyone’s head then you’re in mine,” the voice protested.

“Well can you please go somewhere quieter because the music is way too loud,” Sander asked.

“Fine,” the voice conceded.

Sander felt a pain rush through his foot from his toe.

“Fuck,” they both said simultaneously.

“I just stubbed my toe,” the voice said.

“Well, I felt it, why did I feel it?!” Sander said, terrified at this point.

“How the fuck am I supposed to know?”

The music became softer, a dull sound in the background.

“Now, who are you?” the voice demanded.

“I’m Sander. Who the hell are you?” Sander said.

“I’m Robbe. Nice to meet you, Sander,” Robbe said, “Well, this wasn’t the most enjoyable of meetings but whatever.”

Sander let out a small laugh, which turned louder and louder.

“Why are you laughing?” Robbe asked, a hint of a smile could be heard in his voice.

“What else am I supposed to do? This is so weird and I don’t know the proper reaction so I’m just gonna laugh.”

They both started laughing hysterically.

“What’s going on?” Sander’s roommate, Noor, asked, “You woke me up.”

“Sorry,” Sander said apologetically, “I’ll be quieter.”

Noor looked around the room suspiciously for a moment trying to get a sense of why Sander was being so loud.

“Thank you,” Noor said, eyeing Sander once more before leaving his room to return to her recently disrupted sleep.

“Who was that?” Robbe asked.

“That was Noor, my roommate,” Sander whispered, trying not to evoke the fury in Noor any more than he already had. “Where are you standing, by the way, it’s freezing?”

“I’m in an outside area because it’s not as loud out here,” Robbe answered before pausing. “Wait, you can feel the temperature where I am?”

Sander took a moment to contemplate upon that.

“Yeah, I guess I can. Add that to the list of weird shit that has happened tonight,” Sander laughed, quietly.

Sander could suddenly see a phone screen taking up his vision.

“What are you doing?” Sander asked, curious.

Robbe opened the Notes app and started typing.

**Weird shit that has happened tonight:**

\- We can hear the other person's voice

\- We can see what the other person sees

“Are you seriously making a list?” Sander said, a small laughing escaping his lips.

“Yeah, why not?”

\- We can feel the other person's pain

\- We can feel the temperature around the other person

“Am I missing anything?” Robbe asked.

“I think that’s all, for now at least. We’ll update the _magical_ list if anything else comes up,” Sander said.

“Hey, don’t make fun of the list. The list is very important,” Robbe said laughing.

“Okay, sorry for disrespecting the list,” Sander replied, his own laughter growing but he managed to catch it before it could get too loud.

Sander checked the time on his phone which sat on his bed side table, it was nearly midnight.

“Hey, I’ve had a long day and it’s really late so I think I’m gonna go to sleep now but can we talk tomorrow?” Sander said.

“Sure, that sounds great. Should I give you my number?”

Sander paused. “Now, where’s the fun in that?”

Robbe let out a small laugh, “Good night, Sander.”

“Good night, Robbe.”

And with that, it went silent. The only thing to be heard was the whistling of the wind through the trees. Sander lay his head back down onto the pillow and closed his eyes, sleep overtaking him within moments.

\--

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Jens said.

“Sorry, I needed some air,” Robbe explained to his best friend.

“Oh, okay. We’re doing another round of tequila shots, you down?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

Jens spun on his heels and left Robbe standing there looking deep in thought. Robbe took his phone out of his pocket and stared at the list he had just constructed. He smiled at it because although it was fucking terrifying what had just occurred, it excited him. He was connected to someone, deeply connected and that felt comforting. He knew he was going to freak out about this more than he was right now at some point, but for now he was going to revel in the novelty of it all.

Robbe made his way back into the club, every beat of the music drumming loudly in his brain making it vibrate. As he returned to the table at which his friends were seated, he couldn’t stop thinking about Sander and his voice that rang so clearly in his head. The voice that seemed foreign yet known, like he had been connected to him his whole life and maybe he had.


	2. New Things and Old Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here for you, It's Chapter two!
> 
> I hope you like it!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Stay safe xx  
> -D

Robbe awoke from his deep sleep with a splitting headache, the sunlight which creeped its way into his room through his slightly open blinds, was assaulting his eyes. He had been struck with a major hangover. _Stupid Robbe from yesterday_ , he thought. It’s always easier to blame your problems on your past self as if it was an entirely different being to you, Robbe found. Absolves you of the blame.

The room was spinning around Robbe ever so slightly as he lay there in bed contemplating the events that took place the previous night.

The night was a blur except for one very important aspect that the haze of alcohol couldn’t block, Sander. He remembered that detail as clear as day.

Robbe reached for his phone, which took a lot more effort that he’d like to admit, to check for any messages. No new messages so he locked his phone and placed it on the pillow next to him, turning over onto his stomach, facing away from the window, trying to block out the pestering sunlight.

“Why do I feel like I’m gonna die?” Sander’s voice echoed in his mind.

“Talk softer, please,” Robbe begged.

“Why do I have a hangover when I didn’t have anything to drink?” Sander complained.

“It’s probably because I drank and induced this hangover for the both of us.”

“This sucks, majorly.”

“Trust me, if I had known that you would be affected as well, then I wouldn’t have drank that much,” Robbe said, “I’m sorry, for you and for me.”

Silence.

“Fine,” Sander finally said, drawing out the word, “I forgive you, but I’m still pissed.”

“That doesn’t sound like true forgiveness,” Robbe teased.

“Well, it’s all you’re getting for now so take it or leave it,” Sander teased right back.

“I’ll take what I can get.”

A comfortable silence followed.

“You should update the list,” Sander said, laughing slightly through the pain of his throbbing head.

“What list?” Robbe asked, confused.

“The **Weird shit that has happened tonight** list,” Sander reminded him, “Although, you should probably change the name seeing as this is still going on.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. Okay, hang on.”

Robbe retrieved his phone from the pillow beside him and opened the list. He typed in a new title:

**Robbe, Sander and the weird shit happening to them**

“I think that will do,” Sander laughed softly.

Robbe updated the list:

\- Shared hangovers

The door to Robbe’s room swung open.

“Who are you talking to?” Zoё asked.

Robbe fiddled with his phone, almost dropping it, before putting it to his ear.

“Jens, I’ve been talking to Jens,” Robbe said awkwardly.

“Oh, okay. Do you want to have some breakfast? There’s croissants.”

“Not really, I have a really bad headache at the moment.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll bring you some water and a painkiller,” Zoё said, smiling.

“Thanks Zo.”

The door shut behind her as she left the room.

“Who was that?” Sander asked, “She seems nice.”

“That’s Zoё, one of my roommates,” Robbe answered, “There’s also Senne and Milan.”

“Three roommates?! That sounds fun and exhausting at the same time.”

“I love them all with all my heart but sometimes I just want to kill them,” Robbe laughed and Sander joined in.

Robbe felt a sudden wave of nausea wash over him.

“I’ve gotta go and throw up now so I’ll talk to you later,” Robbe quickly said before rushing to the bathroom and waving goodbye to his stomach contents.

\--

It was Sunday and the hangover of yesterday had thankfully passed. Sander sat at his desk with a pencil in his hand and a university project on his mind. He had to create a work which represented a part of himself that other people don’t know about. Right now, he was doodling on a piece of paper trying to spark an idea of what he could do for it. The project wasn’t due for some time, but he wanted to get a head start. That head start would obviously not be from today because all he was drawing were blanks and squiggles.

Sander spun in his chair, feeling bored and frustrated when he finally had an idea, not about the project though.

“Hello? Robbe? Are you there?” He said to his empty room.

A moment later he received a reply.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Robbe said.

“So, I’ve been thinking about how all of this started and I don’t think that it begun the other night. I have a feeling that this has been going on for a lot longer than that. Well, everything other than the hearing voices thing.”

Robbe took a pause, obviously thinking about Sander had just proposed.

“Why do you think that?” he asked.

Sander responded after a quick moment.

“Well, I’ve always felt things and seen things that either didn’t make sense or weren’t actually happening to me but they felt like they were. So, I thought that maybe, they happened to you instead,” Sander explained.

“That makes sense because I’ve had similar things happen to me but I could never explain it, I thought it was all in my head,” Robbe said, “What were some of your things?”

“When you were a kid, did you fall off of a skateboard and hurt your arm really badly?” Sander questioned, “because I saw it clearly as if I was the one falling off the skateboard but I’ve never set foot on one in my life.”

“I did, when I was seven,” Robbe said, excitement in his tone, “I sprained my wrist trying to do a new trick that Jens had taught me.”

“Jens?”

“Oh, he’s my best friend since we were five,” Robbe said.

“Ah, I see.”

After a brief silence, Robbe spoke up again.

“Do you like street art, or something like that, because I have memories of spray-painting walls and trucks and other things, but I don’t have an artistic bone in my body.”

“I am, in fact, into street art and graffiti,” Sander responded, “I’m studying fine arts at university at the moment.”

“An artist,” Robbe said impressed, “That’s really cool. I’m not at university yet, still in high school.”

“Sander, you need to come and help with the dishes!” Noor yelled from the kitchen.

“I’ll be there in a minute,” Sander shouted back.

“Sorry, Robbe, I’ve got to go and help Noor before she gets too angry because I’m not quite sure what she’s capable of and I don’t intend on finding out,” Sander said, laughing.

“Okay, talk soon,” Robbe said, reciprocating Sander’s laugh.

After they had ended the proverbial call, Sander spun around in his chair, smiling to himself as he thought about Robbe and their conversation.

“Sander!” Noor yelled again.

“Oh shit!” Sander said to himself and dragged himself out of his chair and to the kitchen o face the dishes and, hopefully, a not too angry Noor.


	3. I see you and you see me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For you, from me, It's Chapter Three
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!  
> Leave a comment, let me know what you think
> 
> Stay Safe xx  
> -D

Robbe walked the down the halls of his school with one of his best friends, Yasmina, by his side. He was slightly (majorly) freaking out over a Biology test that he had next period because he hadn’t studied that much do to the hangover that gripped him on Saturday. Besides that, anatomy wasn’t really one of his strengths so that just added to the anxiety.

“This test is going to be a breeze,” Yasmina said, her confidence radiating off of here.

“This is why I shoulld never talk to you before a test, you’re always so prepared and I never am.”

“And who’s fault is that?” Yasmina teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Let’s not assign blame here, okay?” Robbe said, letting out a small laugh.

The sound of the bell ringing signified that fate had caught up with him in the form of a biology test that it was now time for.

“Time to fail,” Robbe said, trying and failing to make a joke because he knew it was true.

“Don’t say that,” Yasmina reassured him, “I have a feeling that you’re going to pass this just fine.”

“We shall see,” Robbe said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Robbe sat down in his seat and took his stationery out of his bag, placing it on the desk in front of him. He could feel himself twitching from fear and nervousness and he noticed that he was actually sweating a little bit.

“Please clam down,” Sander’s voice rang clearly in his head.

“I can’t. I’m gonna fail this test,” Robbe said quietly so as not to draw attention to the fact that he was currently talking to himself.

“What test is it?” Sander asked.

“It’s Biology,” Robbe said, “Anatomy.”

“Awesome, then I can help you,” Sander said, excited.

“You can help me on an anatomy test?” Robbe questioned him.

“Yeah, I had to take anatomy for art class and I did pretty well in it and it seems that I’m your only option to not fail at this point so…”

“Fine, okay, thank you,” Robbe said, a small sense of relief washing over him.

The door to the classroom flung open and the teacher entered. She told the class to take their seats and quieten down.

“Good morning,” she greeted, “You have 45 minutes to complete this test.”

She proceeded to walk around the room handing every student a test booklet.

“You can begin now.”

Robbe opened to the first page.

  1. Indicate the Axial and Appendicular skeletons on the figure below.



_Shit_ , Robbe thought. Off to a great start.

“The Appendicular skeleton consists of the upper and lower limbs as well as the shoulders and pelvic girdle,” Sander said, confidently.

“Thanks,” Robbe whispered.

“No talking, Robbe,” the teacher scolded.

“Sorry ma’am.”

45 minutes later, the test was complete and the teacher gathered all of the papers. Robbe felt relieved but at the same time, he felt guilty because he had kinda, sorta, definitely cheated on that test but there was no changing that now. How would he even explain to his teacher how he managed to cheat?

_A voice in my head that belongs to someone else, told me most of the answers._

That would bode well.

“That was really easy,” Yasmina told him as they walked out of the classroom.

“Yeah, it was better than I expected,” Robbe replied.

“You’re welcome,” Sander said, teasingly.

“Thank you,” Robbe whispered, turning away from Yasmina so she wouldn’t see.

\--

It was the late afternoon and Sander sat in his room, his Art History textbook open in front of him, studying. Well, studying is a strong word to describe what he was doing. He was just skimming the same pages over and over again because he could not, for the life of him, concentrate. He quickly gave up on his current endeavour and moved to lie on his bed. He put his earphones in and pressed shuffle on his David Bowie playlist.

“Pressure, pushing down on me, pushing down on you, no man ask for,” Sander began belting out.

“What are you singing?” Robbe chimed in, laughing.

“ _Under Pressure_ by David Bowie,” Sander stated, “You know Bowie, right?”

“Um…sure,” Robbe said, the lack of confidence evident in his tone.

“Okay, so you don’t know him at all,” Sander laughed.

“Yes, I do,” Robbe said, drawing out the last word for emphasis.

“Okay, name three of his songs,” Sander challenged him.

“Okay, easy, um…Space Cowboy,” Robbe said, “That’s a good one.”

Sander let out a loud laugh, “You mean _Space Oddity_?”

“Sure,” Robbe said, joining in on the laughter.

“I love Bowie and his music, he’s one of the greatest musicians of all time, in my opinion and also in reality,” Sander said.

“I’ll make sure to listen to him,” Robbe said, a smile evident in his voice.

“No, one does not simply listen to David Bowie, you have to start at a beginner’s level,” Sander said, “In fact, I’m going to make you a beginner’s Bowie playlist on Spotify and tonight, you can listen to it. My account name is EARTHLINGODDITY, all caps.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll start off at the beginner’s level,” Robbe said, laughing.

There was a brief moment of silence before Robbe spoke up again.

“That just makes me wonder, why don’t we exchange phone numbers?”

“Now, where’s the fun in that?” Sander said.

“That’s true, very true,” Robbe said, a small laugh escaping his mouth.

“Oh, by the way,” Sander said, “Where do you live?”

“Right, we never talked about that,” Robbe replied, “I live in Ghent, you?”

“I’m staying in Antwerp at the moment.”

“That’s about an hour away from where I am.”

“I guess we won’t be meeting any time soon,” Sander said, disappointment evident in his voice.

Another few moments of comfortable silence befell them.

“Wait, I have an idea,” Robbe exclaimed, “Go stand in front of a mirror.”

“Why?” Sander said curiously.

“So that we can see what the other person looks like.”

“Okay, okay,” Sander said, a bit nervous.

Sander started fixing his hair to make sure that it looked relatively presentable and walked towards the bathroom. When he was before the mirror, he tilted his head down to hide his face.

“You go first,” Sander said.

“Sure.”

Sander could now see Robbe’s reflection in the mirror. He could see his luscious curls that framed his face perfectly. He could see the shine in the pupils of Robbe’s deep brown eyes that looked like a deep chocolate ocean that you could drown in. He saw the wide smile that crossed his lips. The boy radiated beauty.

“This is me,” Robbe announced, “You’re turn now.”

Sander lifted his head to look into the mirror.

\--

Robbe was met with the sight of a person who was beautiful beyond words. His frosty white hair was styled in just the right way. He was struck by a pair of piercing green eyes that were so vulnerable but they seemed to be frightened at the same time. Sander’s nervous smile made Robbe’s grin widen. He looked like the embodiment of perfection itself.

“So, what do you think?” Sander asked, shyly.

Robbe struggled to form words and all he could manage was a simple, “Wow.”

Sander’s smile grew, “Wow, yourself.”

They stood there, in front of their respective mirrors, for what seemed like a lifetime, staring at each other and internalizing the features that defined them. They didn’t utter any words but their eyes said all that needed to be said.

Robbe now had a face to associate with the voice and it was a stunning face at that.


	4. It's Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here with more, it's Chapter Four!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!  
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think
> 
> Stay safe xx  
> -D

“Thank you,” Sander said to the barista as he collected his coffee.

He walked towards an empty table and took a seat. He was at a coffee shop near campus where he liked to go whenever he had a break. He took a sip of his fresh coffee.

“Okay, that’s really hot!” Sander said in pain, “Ow, my tongue!”

“Never mind your tongue, what about mine?” Robbe said in an equal amount of pain, “You really need to stop getting hurt. First you stubbed your toe on the first night we spoke and now you’re trying to silence me by inflicting excruciating pain upon my tongue.”

“Sorry, I’ll stop getting myself into painful situations,” Sander said, laughing.

“Thank you,” Robbe replied, joining in on the laughter, “What are you doing anyways, besides being an incompetent coffee drinker?”

“I’ll have you know that I am an expert coffee drinker and one incident does not dictate my level of expertise,” Sander said jokingly, “And I’m sketching something but no peaking.”

“Why not?” Robbe responded.

“I’ll show it to you when it’s finished, I promise?”

“Fine,” Robbe agreed.

“I see you’re doing maths over there.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘doing’ so much as ‘attempting and failing’,” Robbe said with another laugh which ignited one within Sander, “Any chance you’re as good with numbers as you are with anatomy?”

“Yeah, that’s a no to that,” Sander said, “Numbers and I have a complicated relationship tending towards the hatred side of the spectrum.”

They both burst out laughing. It was then that Sander noticed that the other customers were staring at him and watching his solo conversation.

_Understandable_ , he thought.

So, he decided to move to a table in the back corner of the room.

He finished his sketch and examined it from different angles before deciding that he was satisfied.

“Okay, it’s done, you can look now,” Sander announced.

“Holy fuck, Sander,” Robbe said, amazement painted on his voice, “It’s so beautiful.”

Sander looked down at his drawing of Robbe’s face. The face that he couldn’t seem to shake from his mind, the face he had met not too long ago and never wanted to forget, if forgetting it was even a possibility.

He had spent the majority of his time perfecting Robbe’s eyes, trying his best to capture the majesty that lived within them.

“Thank you but it’s only beautiful because you’re beautiful,” Sander said before realizing that those words had just exited his mouth, “I mean, um, I don’t know what I mean. It’s just…”

“You’re beautiful too,” Robbe said in a soft voice, interrupting him and putting an end to his nervous ramblings.

Sander’s face was now home to a wide and bright smile that held some shyness within it. Hearing those words sent a flutter of butterflies to his stomach, their wings flapping at a rapid rate.

There was silence between them but it wasn’t awkward. It was more about them reflecting on the words they had just spoken and the thoughts about each other that they had just exchanged.

Sander checked the time, his next lecture was in 20 minutes.

“Hey, I’ve got to go. University is calling my name,” Sander said.

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later if I happen to make it through to the other side of this maths homework without losing my mind,” Robbe said with a laugh.

Sander reciprocated his laugh, a smile remaining behind. He packed his things away, stood up from his seat and walked out the door. As he traversed the sidewalk, the wind sweeping through his hair, Robbe’s words played on a constant loop in his head.

_You’re beautiful too_.

Sander noticed that there was an extra spring in his step and the butterflies had not yet departed. He caught himself thinking that maybe he was starting to like Robbe. Actually, he was more than likely starting to like Robbe. Yeah, he was definitely starting to like Robbe.

\--

Robbe and Jens sat on a bench at the skatepark, their boards resting beneath their feet as they allowed the sun’s rays to warm them. Robbe was smiling, still thinking about his conversation with Sander from earlier, six words in particular.

_It’s only beautiful because you’re beautiful_.

Robbe felt a warm, nervous feeling settle in his stomach.

“You’ve been smiling a lot lately,” Jens said in a questioning tone.

“Am I not allowed to smile?” Robbe responded.

“No, you are, it’s just that it’s a lot more than usual,” Jens paused, “So, who is it?”

“Who is who?”

“The person who is making you all giggly.”

Robbe’s head fell shyly as he tried to hide his smile.

“So, there is someone then,” Jens said, nudging Robbe’s shoulder.

“Maybe.”

“Who is it then?”

“It’s someone I met a few weeks ago when we went to that club but they live far away and were just visiting,” Robbe explained, giving the most truthful answer that he could manage. “We’ve been talking every day since then and I think I’m really beginning to like him.”

“Aaaawww, Robbe has a crush on someone,” Jens teased.

“Yeah, I think I do,” Robbe said, shocking himself a little as he came to the realization.

“Tell me about him.”

“Okay, well, he’s an artist,” Robbe started, “And he’s funny and kind and caring and fun and I just feel really connected to him.”

_More connected than you could imagine_ , Robbe thought.

“Oh, and he’s fucking gorgeous,” Robbe finished off.

“Gorgeous?” Jens said, laughing.

“Yes, gorgeous,” Robbe repeated, letting a laugh slip from his lips as well, “We just seem to get each other and we clicked almost immediately.”

Robbe’s smile never left his face as he thought about the boy who had sparked these feelings inside of him.

“What’s his name?” Jens asked.

“It’s Sander,” Robbe answered, enjoying the way his name rolled off of his tongue.

“Well, he seems like a great guy and if he makes you this happy, then I say go for it,” Jens said.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that because we’re just friends at the moment and I’m not sure if he feels the same way about me as I do about him. I just don’t want to ruin what we have,” Robbe said, a sense of fear evident in his voice.

“Okay, so feel it out for a bit longer, there’s no rush,” Jens assured him.

“Yeah,” Robbe said, nodding in agreement, “I’ll do that.”

“I give great advice, don’t I?” Jens teased, “Now, are we gonna skate anytime soon?”

“Go ahead, I’ll catch up with you,” Robbe replied.

Jens got up from the bench and hopped on his skateboard leaving Robbe behind to bask in his thoughts of and feelings for Sander.

“Please don’t let this end in heartbreak,” Robbe said to himself before getting up to join Jens.


	5. A Past Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look alive, it's Chapter Five!
> 
> Thanks for reading as always and I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Stay Safe xx  
> -D

Sander sat on his bed, Bowie songs blasting from his phone but his mind was elsewhere. Ever since he had started talking to Robbe, there had been something at the back of his mind, nagging at him. Something that had confused him at the time and maybe had an answer now. He had been building up the courage to ask him, waiting until the time was right because he didn’t want to scare him off.

“I got my anatomy test back, I got 87% baby!” Robbe said, excited.

 _Your timing is impeccable_ , Sander thought as he turned off his music.

“You mean, _we_ got 87%,” Sander joked.

“Yeah, yeah, you get the credit,” Robbe said, a smile evident in his voice.

Sander let out a small laugh before a comfortable silence engulfed them. Sander worked up the nerve to form the words and release them into the world.

“Um, Robbe, I’ve been meaning to ask you something for a while now,” Sander said, still unsure.

“Sure, what is it?”

“I remember, about two years ago, getting really sad and depressed and I haven’t yet figured out why. I know that it doesn’t always have an explanation but I thought that I may as well ask you if you felt the same way,” Sander said, cautiously.

Another bout of silence fell.

“I remember,” Robbe said before taking an extended pause, “It was a really rough time in my life.”

“Oh, I’m sorry for bringing it up, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to,” Sander said, a hint of sadness evident in his tone.

“No, it’s okay, it affected you as well so you should get an answer,” Robbe said before taking a deep breath, “That was when my mom was checked into a psychiatric hospital for the first time. I had been living with her up until that point because my dad had decided, a year earlier, that he couldn’t handle my mom’s conditions. So, I ended up going to live with Milan, Zoё and Senne to avoid having to stay with my dad. My mom was there for around two months and the I moved back home with her.”

Sander couldn’t find any words to say.

“The cycle continued again and again and my mom was admitted every couple of months so we decided that I should live permanently at my current place. I was young and scared and I abandoned my mother, like a coward.”

Sander didn’t know what to say so he went with the first thing that came to mind, “You should never think of yourself as a coward. I know I don’t. All I think of is someone who is strong and resilient and brave that managing to make it through all of that. I am so sorry that that happened and I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there to help you, to comfort you, to tell you that you’re not alone, that I’m here.”

Sander could feel the tears welling up in his eyes and he could hear quiet sobs escaping from Robbe’s mouth. He could feel the pain and sadness he felt in that moment and it hurt, it hurt more than anything had ever hurt before because Robbe someone who he cared deeply about and he didn’t want him to feel pain. He would take all of his pain away from him if he could, in a heartbeat.

“I had this feeling like there was someone with me,” Robbe finally said, “I had a feeling, deep down, that I wasn’t alone and it helped me, it comforted me, it got me through a large part of what happened, _you_ got me through it.”

A thick silence befell them, it carried an air of sadness but also of catharsis. Sander felt content in knowing that in some way, shape or form, he had helped Robbe even if he didn’t even know it.

“Thank you for telling me and trusting me,” Sander said after what seemed like hours.

“Thank you for listening to me and of course I trust you, I think I trust you more than anyone else in my life. I just know that you will always be here for me separate from the fact that we share a special connection.”

“I promise that I’ll never leave you,” Sander said and he meant it with his entire being.

\--

“Me too,” Robbe said as a small smile crept across his face.

Robbe felt a sense of relief, like he could let go of a breath that he had been holding. He hadn’t spoken about what had happened in a very long time and he had been carrying it around with him, bottling up his feelings, letting it eat him up inside.

By telling Sander, he felt like he was finally facing up to those feelings that he had betrayed his mom by leaving her side. The feelings were still there and one conversation was not going to make them magically disappear but it was a start.

He felt comfortable around Sander, felt like he could tell him anything, bare his soul to him and it would be okay. Things would be okay if he had Sander by his side.


	6. A Not So Secret Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's your fix, it's Chapter Six!
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> Leave a comment, let me know what you think
> 
> Stay Safe xx  
> -D

Robbe was seated at a table in a coffee shop, Jens occupying the seat directly across from him. They were taking their lunch break here, it had relatively good croissants but the croques were abysmal. Still, it was the closest to school so they had chosen this spot.

“How’s it going with Sander?” Jens asked.

Robbe smiled, “I think it’s going well, I mean we talk everyday and we never get bored of each other so that’s a good sign I guess.”

Jens returned the smile with one of his own, “It makes me really happy to see you happy.”

“Thanks, man,” Robbe said.

“How’s your mom?” Jens asked, somewhat cautiously.

“She’s doing good at the moment, I’m visiting her this afternoon so I’ll get to see for myself.” Robbe answered.

“Are you going to tell her about Sander,” Jens said with a teasing, playful tone.

“I don’t know, it’s not anything official and we’re just friends for now so I don’t want to jump the gun,” Robbe admitted.

“Robbe, you guys talk every day and he makes you smile wider than I’ve ever seen. From what I can tell, you share something special.”

“You have no idea,” Robbe barely uttered.

“What?”

“What?” Robbe mimicked.

“I can tell you really like this guy so you should go for it when you feel ready,” Jens encouraged.

“Yeah, I think I will,” Robbe said.

“Okay, what do you want to drink?” Jens changed the subject.

“I think I’m starting to fall for him,” Robbe blurted out.

Jens raised his eyebrows, slight shock crossing his face which soon evolved into a wide grin.

“That’s great!”

“I hope he feels the same,” Robbe said.

Suddenly, Robbe could hear Sander’s voice echo in his head, “I do.” Robbe recognized that this time, it was in his head, his mind fulfilling his wishes but he hoped that one day, it would be real.

\--

“I hope he feels the same,” Robbe said to Jens.

“I do,” Sander whispered softly.

So, he was eavesdropping and he definitely shouldn’t have been listening into their conversation but he had wanted to talk to Robbe and heard them talking about him and he was curious. He felt guilty for invading Robbe’s privacy but he was glad he did because now he knew that his feelings were reciprocated. What he was going to do with this information was another matter entirely.

Sander had only had one lecture that morning so he was already home in his room. He flopped back on his bed, his head hitting the pillow, his thoughts racing all centred around Robbe. His smile from the first time they had seen each other was still fresh in his memory, hadn’t faded one bit. That smile shone brighter than any he had seen before, it even gave the sun a run for its money. _Okay, that’s a bit cliché_ , Sander thought.

Robbe’s voice in his head was his favourite sound, he never tired of it, he could listen to Robbe talk all day and never get bored. Sander’s favourite activity was talking to Robbe, they seemed to get each other on an incredibly deep level, it was like nothing he had ever experienced before. They could talk for hours and the conversation never felt forced, it never felt stilted, it always felt effortless.

Sander was ripped from his thoughts by the sound of a notification. It was a message from Noor.

**Noor** : _Can you please get buy some groceries because we haven’t stocked up in a while_

Sander groaned before another message came through.

**Noor** : _Also, we’re out of coffee, I finished it this morning_

**Sander** : _Ok, I’ll go_

Sander immediately hopped out of bed, an absence of coffee in the apartment was a serious issue that needed to be remedied as soon as possible.

He pulled on his leather jacket, grabbed his keys, wallet and phone and headed out to get some coffee. Oh and the other less essential groceries as well.

\--

Robbe sat at his desk attempting to do his homework but as usual, maths wasn’t cooperating. He had upped their relationship status from foes to mortal enemies. He felt it needed to be done. He had stared at this single equation for about 10 minutes, those minutes feeling like an eternity, before he officially gave up and picked up his phone. Upon seeing no new messages, he decided to talk to Sander.

“Hey,” he started.

“Hey,” Sander greeted him, “I’m at the grocery store and I can’t decide between these two types of biscuits. Help, please.”

Robbe let out a small laugh which Sander joined in on.

“Um, the one on the right is amazing and the one on the left will leave your taste buds sad so I’d say go for the right.”

“See, I knew I could count on you,” Sander said before placing the correct biscuits into his cart. “What are you up to?”

“Just homework,” Robbe answered.

“Okay, now help me choose between these instant noodles because they’re out of the ones I usually have,” Sander said, a smile evident in his voice.

“Um, I’m not really an expert on this topic so I’d say go with blue.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve had that one and it’s disgusting,” Sander said.

“Hey, you asked for my opinion,” Robbe laughed.

“True, true. I guess your expertise don’t apply to this particular topic,” Sander said, a laugh escaping his mouth.

Robbe could listen to that laugh on repeat the entire day. It was the sweetest sound he had ever heard and it always made his day that much brighter.

Just then, a call from the psychiatric hospital.

“Sander, I have to take this, sorry.” Robbe said.

“No problem, talk later.”

Robbe answered the phone and was met with words that made his blood run cold. He slumped back against his chair and fought the tears welling up behind his eyes. The happiness could never last very long and it looked like he had reached the end of that streak and now darkness awaited him.


	7. A Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Chapter Seven!   
> (I couldn't find a good rhyme so...)
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Stay safe xx  
> -D

“Robbe, I’m sorry but your mother has been admitted again,” his mother’s psychiatrist said.

The words echoed through Robbe’s mind, bouncing around, smashing against his skull. It had been almost 9 months since she had been admitted and a sense of normalcy and calm was felt. Well, that had all been shattered now.

“Why?” Robbe’s voice was shaky.

“She had another episode and went out in public this time, police were called to handle the situation and she was transferred here,” was the response.

“Is she being charged with anything?”

“No, no, don’t worry about that. Everything is going to be okay but for now, she needs to stay here.”

Robbe felt the pit in his stomach deepen, the fear in his heart multiply and the tears in his eyes breach the surface.

“When can I see her?” Robbe managed to spit out.

“Not for two days,” the psychiatrist answered, “I’m really sorry, Robbe.”

“Um, just let me know when I can see her, please.”

“Of course.”

Robbe put the phone down and collapsed onto his bed. His heart felt heavy, his thoughts racing. He had thought that his mama was doing okay, that she was doing better, but he had been wrong.

“Robbe, is everything okay? What’s going on?” Sander’s voice rang in his ears, “Robbe, I can feel what you feel, I know that you’re in pain and I want to know why, what happened?” Sander’s voice was desperate.

Silence engulfed them.

“Robbe, please,” Sander said in a soft yet begging tone.

“My mom has been admitted to the psychiatric hospital again,” Robbe said as the tears began their decent down his face.

“Robbe, I’m so sorry,” Sander said and his sounded like he was on the verge of tears as well, “I don’t know what to say to make you feel better aside from telling you that you’re not alone. I’m here with you like I promised I would be.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through this pain, you shouldn’t have to carry my burden and my sadness,” Robbe said, the words barely making it out of his mouth.

“Don’t be ridiculous, you have nothing to apologize for,” Sander assured him.

Silence befell them again as Robbe’s thoughts ran in circles. How could he do this to the person he cared so deeply about? This was his fault. Everything that Sander was feeling was because of him and his fucked up life. It wasn’t fair.

Robbe continued to cry as they sat there with no words being exchanged. He could suddenly hear quiet sobs escaping Sander’s mouth. That was the final straw. How could he possibly subject Sander to this? The last thing he wanted to do to Sander, was make him cry and he was doing just that. This connection had brought him happiness but now it was bringing nothing but sadness and he had to do something about it. It couldn’t go on, he couldn’t be the reason that Sander was in tears, he couldn’t handle that on top of everything he was feeling right now.

So, he made the decision to end it. He didn’t know how to break the connection but maybe, just maybe, he could weaken it. If he stopped talking to Sander, maybe the bond would get weaker and Sander would feel less pain. He had no idea if this would work but he was willing to try anything to protect Sander.

He built up the courage to say the next few words.

“It’s time for me to say goodbye to you,” Robbe pushed the words out of his throat, each one stinging more than the last.

“What? Why?” Sander demanded, “What did I do?”

Robbe took a deep breath to try and steady himself.

“It’s not what you did, it’s what I’m doing to you. I can’t be the reason that you are suffering. I have to protect you because you mean more to me than anyone else. I can’t change what is happening to me but I may be able to change what is happening to you,” Robbe continued to struggle through his words, “I’m sorry but this is goodbye, hopefully you will stop having my pain inflicted upon you.”

Robbe went silent apart from the sobs he released.

“Robbe, no,” Sander said frantically, “Robbe, what are you doing? Please don’t do this, I need you.”

Robbe didn’t reply.

“Robbe, please,” Sander whispered.

Robbe continued to stay silent as Sander continued to beg and plead. Every word that exited Sander’s mouth was like a stab to Robbe’s heart but hopefully, with time, Sander wouldn’t feel that pain, hopefully he would be safe from Robbe.

Robbe curled up into a ball, bringing his knees to his chest to make himself as small as he felt helpless. He knew he had done the right thing, so why did it feel so wrong. He cried and cried until there were no tears left, until the reservoir had run dry. He didn’t move though. He let the darkness and sadness breach his bubble of happiness that he had been feeling for the past weeks he had spent with Sander. They had the control now and he wouldn’t fight it, he couldn’t.


	8. A reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For our last date, Here's Chapter Eight!
> 
> We've reached the end of the story and I wanted to thank each and every one of you for reading, It means a lot to me.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Stay safe xx  
> -D

“Robbe, please,” Sander whispered, desperate to change Robbe’s mind and reverse his decision but it was of no use.

Sander was still in the grocery store as all of this was going down. He had slumped down to the floor, his head resting on the shelves of food behind him.

“Are you okay?” said a woman obviously checking up on him. He could only imagine what he looked like right now but he couldn’t care less.

“No,” Sander admitted to this stranger because he needed to get it out, “I think I just lost the person I’m in love with.”

The tears continued their journey down his face. He decided to leave the groceries behind and ran out of the store. The fresh air outside did little to calm him down, the breeze failing to bring about a clear mind, nothing could help him right now.

As soon as Sander entered his apartment, he went straight to his room ignoring Noor who was currently sitting on the couch in the living room.

He shut his door behind him and dove under the duvet trying to comfort himself from the loneliness he felt in that moment.

He heard a knock at the door.

“Go away,” Sander said, choking on the tears as he uttered the words.

“Now you know I can’t do that,” Noor responded.

The door opened and she entered, seating herself on his desk chair.

“Tell me what’s going on, please,” Noor asked.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Sander said in a quiet voice.

“Okay, so even if I don’t, I can still give you advice on the situation whether it is real or not,” Noor assured him.

Sander paused for a few moments before deciding to take Noor up on her offer. He remained buried beneath the covers as he explained the story of Robbe. He told her about their connection, about how he felt happiest when he spoke to him and how everything had come to an end earlier that day.

“I’m in love with him and now he’s gone and I can’t do anything about it,” Sander cried.

Noor stood up and moved to give Sander a hug. She remained sitting on her knees next to him.

“I guess the only solution is to find him then,” Noor stated as if it was obvious.

“How?” Sander said, frustrated as if he hadn’t thought about that previously, “I don’t have his number, I don’t have his address, I don’t know what school he goes to, I don’t have anything other than his name.”

Noor rubbed Sander’s arm, comforting him.

“Well, that’s a start at least. What’s his full name, let me see if I can find him on Instagram,” Noor said.

“Robbe Ijzermans but it won’t work because he won’t respond to my messages,” Sander explained.

“Who said anything about messaging him? We’re looking for clues as to where he might be.”

Noor typed the name into the search bar, no matches.

“Okay, next thing. You said you can see what he sees so just watch him, follow him around and try to find out what school he goes to. Find a name or something.”

“Noor, that’s creepy and stalkery,” Sander said.

“Look, do you want to find him or not,” Noor replied, “Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend.”

Sander let out a small laugh as he contemplated this ludicrous scheme.

“Okay, fine. This is absolutely ridiculous but I’ll try anything at this point,” Sander sighed, “I’ll start tomorrow.”

“Good, I’m glad I could help,” Noor said, standing up.

As Noor moved towards the door to leave, Sander said, “Do you believe me?”

“It doesn’t really matter what I believe, it matters what you believe,” Noor smiled before closing the door behind herself.

Sander shook his head in disbelief. This was definitely an invasion of privacy but he knew with all his being that Robbe felt the same way about him and he had promised Robbe that he would always be there for him and he had absolutely no intention of breaking that promise.

He was going to get the love of his life back.

\--

Sander woke up early the next morning having decided the previous night to stay at home and neglect university today in order to begin his investigation. He focused in on Robbe as he saw him approach a building which he deduced must be his school. He didn’t see a sign however so he still had no idea what school this was. He decided to wait until the end of the day in hopes of catching a glimpse of a sign or something, anything, that could lead him to Robbe.

There was no luck that afternoon, nor for the next three days but Sander wasn’t giving up, he would never give up on Robbe.

The morning of the fifth day brought success, _Niewen Bosch Humaniora Gent_ , he had a name, he had a place. _Sherlock Holmes, wie?_ he thought.

Then it hit him, Ghent was an hour away from where he was. He hadn’t thought this far into the plan but he wasn’t about to turn back now. He opened his laptop to find an early morning bus to Ghent from Antwerp the next day so he could arrive at Robbe’s school in time to catch him.

He booked the bus ticket and revelled in his accomplishments before it hit him. He still had to convince Robbe to take him back, that would be the difficult part.

\--

The bus ride had taken just over an hour and Sander was exhausted from having to wake up at the crack of dawn but he was here. He took a taxi to Robbe’s school and waited by the entrance looking very out of place but he didn’t really give a shit what other people thought of him in that moment, only one person mattered right now and that was Robbe.

15 minutes had elapsed before he saw Robbe cross his line of sight. They locked eyes and a look of shock and surprise presented itself on Robbe’s face.

“Sander?” Robbe asked, confused.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Sander said, with a grin.

“How in the fuck did you find me?”

“I’ll explain later but for now can I please talk to you,” Sander said with a pleading look in his eyes.

They moved to stand around a corner, away from prying eyes.

“Sander, I already told you everything that I had to say,” Robbe said, sadness evident in his tone, “Please leave me alone, I’m doing this for your sake.”

“I don’t want you to do this,” Sander said reaching his hand out to touch Robbe’s arm, “I don’t want to be apart from you, I want to be connected to you, I want you.”

Robbe thought about that before he shook his head and tears began to run down his face, “Sander, no. You’re just going to get hurt because of me and then you’ll come to hate me because of it and I can’t have you hating me.”

“I could never hate you, Robbe,” Sander paused, “I love you.”

Robbe paused and scanned Sander’s face.

“I promised that I would always be there for you and I’m keeping that promise right now and forever,” Sander said, a single tear escaping his eye, “Robbe, please.”

Moments of silence befell them.

“Sander,” Robbe said before leaning in to hug him, his tears having multiplied.

“Why did you do all of this for me?” Robbe asked, still wrapped in Sander’s arms.

“I already told you, it’s because I love you,” Sander stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Robbe lifted his head so that his eyes met Sander’s.

“I love you too.”

Sander leaned in and their lips connected, it was nothing short of magical. Their lips slotted together like they were made for one another. It felt like electricity flowed through them, a fire coursing through their veins. It was like nothing Sander had ever experienced before. Their lips moved in sync as though it was a choreographed dance. The kiss was euphoric as the world melted away around them, leaving only them and their love.

\--

**Three weeks later**

“Keep your eyes closed,” Sander said as he guided Robbe.

Robbe had no idea where they were but he trusted Sander so he wasn’t worried.

“What’s this all about,” Robbe asked.

“Well, I finally completed my project, I found something to represent what I feel most connected to,” Sander said, a mile evident in his voice, “You can open your eyes now.”

Robbe’s eyes fluttered open and he was met with a giant mural of his face in front of him. It was beautiful and he couldn’t help but blush.

“What do you think?” Sander asked nervously, “Do you like it?”

“I love it,” Robbe said with a massive smile on his face, “and I love you.”

Robbe stood on his tip-toes to bring his lips to meet Sander’s.

“It’s absolutely breath taking.”

“You’re breath taking,” Sander replied.

Robbe let out a small laugh before he leant into Sander’s side as they stood there staring at the mural, Robbe’s arm wrapped around Sander’s waist and Sander’s around Robbe’s shoulder. After what felt like a blissful eternity, Sander spoke up.

“I’m glad you could finally see yourself through my eyes.”


End file.
